Even while I was pregnant, I always knew that babies feel everything their mothers feel. What I didn’t know was how much they did, especially during breastfeeding.
My baby had mild jaundice during his first days of life, and it worried me sick. I stressed out over what I mistakenly thought was a wrong latch, which caused him to not get enough food from me, which caused him to not poop and make his jaundice worsen.
I spent unnecessary sleepless nights trying to “teach” my baby to latch on correctly and became stressed and frustrated almost to tears. Apparently, he felt my stress and frustration, and decided not to eat.
Milo went on a hunger strike – and that’s why he didn’t get enough from me to gain weight. He was just as stressed as I was and decided not to eat, which of course stressed me out more. That was our vicious cycle.
The lactation consultant at my pedia’s office then advised me to relax before and during feeding. She told me to sit in a quiet place, put my feet up, and not to think about anything else while nursing. This worked instantly, and my baby fed and gained back his birth weight even before his 2nd week.
Another thing I observed was that my body produced the exact kind of milk my baby needed at that time of feeding. When it was scorching hot, I pumped milk and what came out almost looked like water. It’s as if my baby told my body that he was thirsty because he was hot, so my milk – which was all he drank and ate – came out as thin as possible to quench his thirst.
Isn’t it amazing how this kind of bond exists between mother and child? Mom’s body communicates to a baby’s supposedly immature brain and vice versa without them even knowing it.
Now if only my brain can tell right away exactly what his cries mean without me having to run through the crying checklist…
6.30.2008
6.25.2008
First Time Breastfeeder
Being a new mom, I had no idea what breastfeeding was going to be like, so I read everything I can about it. But like some things, no amount of reading prepared me for everything I was about to experience.
Latching On
Before we came home from the hospital, I thought my baby had a good latch going so he can drink his milk efficiently. But after watching videos and seeing pictures of American babies with “the right latch,” I became paranoid that my baby wasn’t doing it right. My fears were confirmed by the fact that he wasn’t pooping and his jaundice was getting worse.
I later learned that his latch wasn’t the problem. He was latching on fine, but because I was comparing his little tiny mouth to bigger babies with bigger mouths and bigger-looking latches, I thought there was something wrong. Totally my bad. Because of this, I became stressed and frustrated enough to make him go on a hunger strike.
Sore Nipples
Pain was another reason why I thought my baby’s latch was wrong. I was told that if feeding hurts, then the latch must not be right. But I realized, wrong latch or right latch, my nipples were bound to be sore after being exposed to moisture every two hours for several entire days!
You know how those wounds from scratching hurt when touched? That’s the kind of pain I felt for a while – that’s what sore nipples felt like for me.
The Letdown
When my milk came, my baby would cough and gag during feeding. I apparently had an overactive letdown, meaning my milk comes on too fast and baby can’t keep up. It’s like drinking from a huge pail poured over your mouth.
My research said to pull baby away from the breast at the beginning of the letdown and wait till it slowed before putting baby back on. The thing is, I didn’t even know how letdown felt like, so I was always too late pulling baby away – he would’ve already gagged or coughed.
Some people describe it as a tingling feeling, so that’s what I was waiting to feel. But after close observation, I realized that it wasn’t exactly “tingling” for me. I can’t actually describe it, but I knew I felt something going on in my breasts before I saw the milk come out. By around the 2nd week, I finally figured out how to tell that my milk was coming.
Empty vs. Full
The first time I tried to pump out milk, I got a whopping ONE ounce TOTAL from an hour of pumping with a manual pump (which hurt like crazy!). It confused me because I thought I could get milk enough to feed all the babies born that day from the way I was so engorged. So my mom told me to keep pumping to “empty” the breast. But how was I to know how empty felt?
I knew what “full” meant – it was like the fullness during PMS, multiplied by 3. And engorgement? So much worse than that. Empty, on the other hand, was a big question mark for me, until I felt a load of relief from engorgement after pumping with an electric pump (and with the help of warm compress) and constant breastfeeding.
So that’s what empty felt like – when the breast feels like it’s been unloaded 1,000 gallons of milk, and when you can’t manually get anything from it anymore.
Up to this day, almost 3 months since the first time I breastfed my baby, I am still learning new things like better ways to hold him while nursing (so he doesn’t choke) and nursing on one breast per feeding. Everyday is a challenge indeed, as I try to figure out everything myself. But I am a fast learner, and I did learn that figuring them out and overcoming challenges can be truly rewarding experiences.
Latching On
Before we came home from the hospital, I thought my baby had a good latch going so he can drink his milk efficiently. But after watching videos and seeing pictures of American babies with “the right latch,” I became paranoid that my baby wasn’t doing it right. My fears were confirmed by the fact that he wasn’t pooping and his jaundice was getting worse.
I later learned that his latch wasn’t the problem. He was latching on fine, but because I was comparing his little tiny mouth to bigger babies with bigger mouths and bigger-looking latches, I thought there was something wrong. Totally my bad. Because of this, I became stressed and frustrated enough to make him go on a hunger strike.
Sore Nipples
Pain was another reason why I thought my baby’s latch was wrong. I was told that if feeding hurts, then the latch must not be right. But I realized, wrong latch or right latch, my nipples were bound to be sore after being exposed to moisture every two hours for several entire days!
You know how those wounds from scratching hurt when touched? That’s the kind of pain I felt for a while – that’s what sore nipples felt like for me.
The Letdown
When my milk came, my baby would cough and gag during feeding. I apparently had an overactive letdown, meaning my milk comes on too fast and baby can’t keep up. It’s like drinking from a huge pail poured over your mouth.
My research said to pull baby away from the breast at the beginning of the letdown and wait till it slowed before putting baby back on. The thing is, I didn’t even know how letdown felt like, so I was always too late pulling baby away – he would’ve already gagged or coughed.
Some people describe it as a tingling feeling, so that’s what I was waiting to feel. But after close observation, I realized that it wasn’t exactly “tingling” for me. I can’t actually describe it, but I knew I felt something going on in my breasts before I saw the milk come out. By around the 2nd week, I finally figured out how to tell that my milk was coming.
Empty vs. Full
The first time I tried to pump out milk, I got a whopping ONE ounce TOTAL from an hour of pumping with a manual pump (which hurt like crazy!). It confused me because I thought I could get milk enough to feed all the babies born that day from the way I was so engorged. So my mom told me to keep pumping to “empty” the breast. But how was I to know how empty felt?
I knew what “full” meant – it was like the fullness during PMS, multiplied by 3. And engorgement? So much worse than that. Empty, on the other hand, was a big question mark for me, until I felt a load of relief from engorgement after pumping with an electric pump (and with the help of warm compress) and constant breastfeeding.
So that’s what empty felt like – when the breast feels like it’s been unloaded 1,000 gallons of milk, and when you can’t manually get anything from it anymore.
Up to this day, almost 3 months since the first time I breastfed my baby, I am still learning new things like better ways to hold him while nursing (so he doesn’t choke) and nursing on one breast per feeding. Everyday is a challenge indeed, as I try to figure out everything myself. But I am a fast learner, and I did learn that figuring them out and overcoming challenges can be truly rewarding experiences.
6.12.2008
More Yellow Than Me
My hubby and I are both relatively fair-skinned Filipinos and we have the typical yellow skin tone most fair-skinned Asians have. My baby, however, had a little more yellow hue than I expected.
Milo had very mild jaundice when we brought him home from the hospital. One of the baby nurses suggested that we supplement with formula so that he can poop more and excrete the bilirubin (that chemical that causes jaundice) more often. We decided against it – we wanted to breastfeed exclusively. Besides, the doctor didn’t advise me to do so, so we stayed with breast milk, even if my mature milk didn’t come until day 4.
Day 4 was his first checkup after coming home from the hospital, and I was worried like crazy. He hasn’t pooped much the day before, and I was afraid his jaundice was getting worse. I was sure he looked more yellow, even if hubby and my mom assured me it was just my imagination.
But I was right. At the doctor’s office, we confirmed that he did still have jaundice, and worse, he lost more than 10% of his birth weight, from almost 6 lbs 13 oz (almost 7 lbs.) to 6 lbs. flat. Babies typically lose weight after birth, but they gain their birth weight back by their second week. My baby, however, lost more weight than normal.
I blamed myself for it. I didn’t supplement with formula, because at our childbirth class, we were told that babies’ tummies are just the size of a marble at birth. Colostrum from mommy is all they need until about day 3 or 4 when their tummies grow to the size of a ping pong ball, and when mom’s mature milk is supposed to start coming in.
The problem is, he wasn’t getting enough from me because I couldn’t get him to breastfeed correctly. Or so I thought. My pedia called in a lactation consultant and she observed how Milo latches on. Apparently, he was latching correctly, but he refused to eat because I was stressed and frustrated from trying to “teach” him, when he was, in fact, doing it correctly all along.
We fed him formula on that day, just one 2-oz. dose for that one feeding, while I dealt with my engorgement. And then he went back to the breast right away. This time, I freed myself from all worries and just allowed him to feed, tummy-to-tummy. When I finally smelled that poopy diaper that night, I was overjoyed. He’s pooping!
Three days later, we came back to the pedia for a follow-up weight check – and he passed with flying colors at 6.4 lbs. Whew. I’m glad we didn’t have to deal with the full-blown jaundice and have him undergo treatment under some kind of light. It turns out that a less paranoid mom was all the treatment he needed.
His jaundice cleared completely by his 2nd-week checkup, but he’s still yellow – my tint of yellow. Just the way I like it.
Milo had very mild jaundice when we brought him home from the hospital. One of the baby nurses suggested that we supplement with formula so that he can poop more and excrete the bilirubin (that chemical that causes jaundice) more often. We decided against it – we wanted to breastfeed exclusively. Besides, the doctor didn’t advise me to do so, so we stayed with breast milk, even if my mature milk didn’t come until day 4.
Day 4 was his first checkup after coming home from the hospital, and I was worried like crazy. He hasn’t pooped much the day before, and I was afraid his jaundice was getting worse. I was sure he looked more yellow, even if hubby and my mom assured me it was just my imagination.
But I was right. At the doctor’s office, we confirmed that he did still have jaundice, and worse, he lost more than 10% of his birth weight, from almost 6 lbs 13 oz (almost 7 lbs.) to 6 lbs. flat. Babies typically lose weight after birth, but they gain their birth weight back by their second week. My baby, however, lost more weight than normal.
I blamed myself for it. I didn’t supplement with formula, because at our childbirth class, we were told that babies’ tummies are just the size of a marble at birth. Colostrum from mommy is all they need until about day 3 or 4 when their tummies grow to the size of a ping pong ball, and when mom’s mature milk is supposed to start coming in.
The problem is, he wasn’t getting enough from me because I couldn’t get him to breastfeed correctly. Or so I thought. My pedia called in a lactation consultant and she observed how Milo latches on. Apparently, he was latching correctly, but he refused to eat because I was stressed and frustrated from trying to “teach” him, when he was, in fact, doing it correctly all along.
We fed him formula on that day, just one 2-oz. dose for that one feeding, while I dealt with my engorgement. And then he went back to the breast right away. This time, I freed myself from all worries and just allowed him to feed, tummy-to-tummy. When I finally smelled that poopy diaper that night, I was overjoyed. He’s pooping!
Three days later, we came back to the pedia for a follow-up weight check – and he passed with flying colors at 6.4 lbs. Whew. I’m glad we didn’t have to deal with the full-blown jaundice and have him undergo treatment under some kind of light. It turns out that a less paranoid mom was all the treatment he needed.
His jaundice cleared completely by his 2nd-week checkup, but he’s still yellow – my tint of yellow. Just the way I like it.
6.08.2008
What I Wish I Knew About After-Pregnancy
Because I was too busy planning for the baby’s arrival and learning about labor and delivery, I failed to prepare myself for what’s to happen to my body after baby was out of my belly. I only started to learn about these things as I was experiencing each and every surprising post-partum fact. Nobody told me…
…that my body was going to be confused after baby is out. My hormones went haywire, especially during the first two hours post-partum -- I had hot flashes and chills back-to-back, I thought I was losing my mind. I guess my body was trying to figure itself out.
…that this state of my body figuring itself out was going to take way longer than two hours.
…that I was going to swell worse than when I was pregnant. I was so shocked to see myself in the mirror for the first time after I gave birth. My face was so puffy, I seriously wondered how people recognized me -- I could hardly recognize myself!
…that my belly was going to look like floppy bread dough. And that I wasn’t going to look anywhere near NOT pregnant after giving birth. Now, almost 3 months later, I still look 3 months pregnant, even after losing 28 of the 35 lbs I gained over the pregnancy.
…that the last 7 lbs will so stubbornly stick to me.
…that I was going to keep wearing my maternity pants for about a month after giving birth.
…that this mommy fluff doesn’t just take two months to lose (darn Heidi Klum). I read it can take up to a year, by which time I plan to be pregnant again. When I will lose this muffin top, I have no idea.
…that my body’s shape is going to drastically change. My pre-pregnancy tops fit differently in a bad way. At least my breast-milk-enlarged boobs can now give the illusion that my tummy looks just a little flatter than it really is (and that I can suck it in – but even that I can only hold for a short while).
…that it may take up to 6 months to a year for the linea negra (the vertical line across the belly that appeared during the last month of my pregnancy) to disappear. There goes any hope for wearing a bikini this summer.
…that like the linea negra, my darkened underarms will plan to stay like that for a while. Did I say goodbye, bikini?
…that my self esteem was going to reach its all-time low. I felt like a mass of blob and just hated looking at the mirror. I had nothing to wear, because nothing looked decent on me. I felt so unattractive, no matter how many compliments I got from my darling hubby and dear friends. Those unpleasant thoughts sure got a good hold of me. It could well have been the baby blues (or the mommy fluff).
I wish I knew about these, so I wasn’t caught off-guard by all those ugly, self-worth-eating monsters in my head. I did get rid of them eventually, even with that lovely mommy fluff still hanging on top of my pre-pregnancy pants I now fit back into. I told myself that nothing is permanent, and that it will all get better, even if it will never be the same.
I tried to focus on the positive: having nice toned arms from carrying baby around and firm legs from going up and down the stairs with baby’s 12 lbs. Or having more reason to buy nice new clothes and a swanky new one-piece swimsuit. Or that I can see my feet, reach my toes and wear my heels!
Plus, I now know how to cheat into fitting into some of my older clothes. But even if that doesn’t work, I have every right to look the way I do, because I JUST had a baby – a beautiful, healthy baby with yummy little toes.
…that my body was going to be confused after baby is out. My hormones went haywire, especially during the first two hours post-partum -- I had hot flashes and chills back-to-back, I thought I was losing my mind. I guess my body was trying to figure itself out.
…that this state of my body figuring itself out was going to take way longer than two hours.
…that I was going to swell worse than when I was pregnant. I was so shocked to see myself in the mirror for the first time after I gave birth. My face was so puffy, I seriously wondered how people recognized me -- I could hardly recognize myself!
…that my belly was going to look like floppy bread dough. And that I wasn’t going to look anywhere near NOT pregnant after giving birth. Now, almost 3 months later, I still look 3 months pregnant, even after losing 28 of the 35 lbs I gained over the pregnancy.
…that the last 7 lbs will so stubbornly stick to me.
…that I was going to keep wearing my maternity pants for about a month after giving birth.
…that this mommy fluff doesn’t just take two months to lose (darn Heidi Klum). I read it can take up to a year, by which time I plan to be pregnant again. When I will lose this muffin top, I have no idea.
…that my body’s shape is going to drastically change. My pre-pregnancy tops fit differently in a bad way. At least my breast-milk-enlarged boobs can now give the illusion that my tummy looks just a little flatter than it really is (and that I can suck it in – but even that I can only hold for a short while).
…that it may take up to 6 months to a year for the linea negra (the vertical line across the belly that appeared during the last month of my pregnancy) to disappear. There goes any hope for wearing a bikini this summer.
…that like the linea negra, my darkened underarms will plan to stay like that for a while. Did I say goodbye, bikini?
…that my self esteem was going to reach its all-time low. I felt like a mass of blob and just hated looking at the mirror. I had nothing to wear, because nothing looked decent on me. I felt so unattractive, no matter how many compliments I got from my darling hubby and dear friends. Those unpleasant thoughts sure got a good hold of me. It could well have been the baby blues (or the mommy fluff).
I wish I knew about these, so I wasn’t caught off-guard by all those ugly, self-worth-eating monsters in my head. I did get rid of them eventually, even with that lovely mommy fluff still hanging on top of my pre-pregnancy pants I now fit back into. I told myself that nothing is permanent, and that it will all get better, even if it will never be the same.
I tried to focus on the positive: having nice toned arms from carrying baby around and firm legs from going up and down the stairs with baby’s 12 lbs. Or having more reason to buy nice new clothes and a swanky new one-piece swimsuit. Or that I can see my feet, reach my toes and wear my heels!
Plus, I now know how to cheat into fitting into some of my older clothes. But even if that doesn’t work, I have every right to look the way I do, because I JUST had a baby – a beautiful, healthy baby with yummy little toes.
6.06.2008
My Labor Story
With a relatively conventional pregnancy (except for an extra rough first trimester), I was hoping to have a textbook labor and delivery experience. What I had, however, was one for the books.
March 10, Monday – 36 weeks and 4 days
I felt contractions that were a little more intense than Braxton Hicks that I’ve been feeling more than 5 times a day. I started recording the times I had contractions. How exciting!
Later that night, I felt hourly contractions that lasted the next day, but remembering the 5-1-1 rule, I waited it out – at work. I felt like waiting at home would be a waste of my leave hours. It’s funny how everyone but me and Nino was freaking out.
My ever-loving co-workers constantly had their eye on me, especially when my contractions grew closer to 10 minutes apart. My in-laws panicked when they learned I was having contractions yet we had no plans of going to the hospital. That’s because we didn’t want to be sent back home. So we waited some more.
March 12, Wednesday – 36 weeks and 6 days
I saw my doctor that morning, because my contractions were still going consistently at 10 minutes apart. I’m in fact in early labor, already 90% effaced (my cervix has thinned out) and barely 1 cm dilated.
She put me on leave already because my contractions have been regular and I have started dilating very slowly, saying we may have the baby within the next 24 to 48 hours. OR NOT. The contractions stayed at 8-10 minutes apart for 10 more days. That took “SLOWLY dilating” to a whole new level.
March 20, Maundy Thursday – 38 weeks, prenatal checkup
My prenatal checkup revealed nothing new, except I’m a little over 1cm dilated. My contractions were apparently not strong enough to dilate the cervix. It was so frustrating – I’ve been in early labor for almost two weeks! It seemed dilation and effacement measurements weren’t indicative of anything, even with constant contractions.
I started to prepare myself for this to continue up to my due date (2 more weeks). The eviction notice I sent my baby won’t really work - he has the final say, and there was nothing we could do about it.
That night, however, I felt extra pain during my contractions. I told Nino it felt different, that maybe that was IT. But I decided to try and sleep through it.
March 21, Good Friday
7:30 AM: I woke up realizing I successfully slept through my contractions and that they were now 5 minutes apart. Time to go to the hospital? Maybe not, because I was told that active labor contractions are too painful to sleep through, so I ignored it. Nino decided to go to work.
9:30 AM: LOTS of blood in the bathroom. It could well have been my mucus plug, but even losing that may not mean I’m delivering soon. Anyhow, I thought it better to be seen at the hospital. Nino immediately drove back from work to bring me to the hospital while I calmly completed some last-minute packing, just in case we weren’t going back home that day.
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10:30 AM: I was admitted! I was 3cm dilated already. It seems the pelvic exam from the day before induced labor. My nurse told me that I can ask for an epidural anytime I wish. At that point, the pain was still bearable, so I decided to wait.
12:30 PM: 4 cm. Not much progress in 2 hours, so we agreed to artificially break the bag of waters and have Pitocin (contraction-inducing drug) administered a couple hours after.
4:30 PM: 9 cm. I dilated 5 cms in 2 hours. No wonder the pain was already that intense – I was in transition labor and I didn’t even know it, so I asked for an epidural. Surprisingly, I remained very calm even before I was given drugs -- no screaming at Nino or spraining of his hands. Thanks to our Lamaze class and my high threshold for labor pain.
5:00-ish: My nurse, Nino and I started “practice” pushing – I pushed constantly while my nurse counted to 10. It was meant to bring the baby low enough to crown before they called the doctor (who, unfortunately, was not the OB-GYN I was seeing my entire pregnancy). After a couple practice pushes, I started to bleed more. Each push made blood squirt out, making my nurse a bit worried.
The doctor and another nurse came to check if the placenta was intact. It turned out to be ok, saying the bleeding could’ve been coming from a tear INSIDE. It got me a little worried, but I was determined to get this over with.
After a few more pushes, a lot of blood and a whole lot of hard work, the baby was crowning. This was it! I was going to see my baby!
.JPG)
5:38 PM: One last humongous push and Milo was finally out. I was surprised when they said he was out, because I only did one push, when I was expecting to push for the head first, then push for the shoulder next. I guess I pushed hard enough to let him slip right through!
They wiped my blood of my baby and handed him to me for our initial meet-and-greet. The baby nurse took him to the warmer to do his first vital checks with Nino watching while the doctor stitched me up (I apparently needed an episiotomy). As soon as he was semi-clean, they bundled him up and Nino got to hold him and show him to me.
We tried nursing during that first hour, and he latched right away. Thank God! After a few minutes of nursing, they took him to the nursery for his first bath.
At that point, I was seeing double, literally. My nurse told me to rest and eat a little of my dinner, so I did. I managed to take a few naps and eat most of my dinner, but I was still woozy. I apparently lost a lot of blood – I was on “borderline,” said my nurse. My full bladder wasn’t helping the bleeding, so I was asked to pee – no such luck. They had to place a catheter in me to get my pee out, a full bag of 1200cc.
.JPG)
10:00 PM: I was still in the LDR/Recovery room, under observation. I was jealous of my husband who got to see the baby longer and be with him in the nursery. I only saw a couple of videos Nino took, but I guess that was better than nothing.
11:30 PM: I was finally sent to my room to meet my Milo, 6 hours after delivery. The wait was worth it. I finally have my baby!
March 10, Monday – 36 weeks and 4 days
I felt contractions that were a little more intense than Braxton Hicks that I’ve been feeling more than 5 times a day. I started recording the times I had contractions. How exciting!
Later that night, I felt hourly contractions that lasted the next day, but remembering the 5-1-1 rule, I waited it out – at work. I felt like waiting at home would be a waste of my leave hours. It’s funny how everyone but me and Nino was freaking out.
My ever-loving co-workers constantly had their eye on me, especially when my contractions grew closer to 10 minutes apart. My in-laws panicked when they learned I was having contractions yet we had no plans of going to the hospital. That’s because we didn’t want to be sent back home. So we waited some more.
March 12, Wednesday – 36 weeks and 6 days
I saw my doctor that morning, because my contractions were still going consistently at 10 minutes apart. I’m in fact in early labor, already 90% effaced (my cervix has thinned out) and barely 1 cm dilated.
She put me on leave already because my contractions have been regular and I have started dilating very slowly, saying we may have the baby within the next 24 to 48 hours. OR NOT. The contractions stayed at 8-10 minutes apart for 10 more days. That took “SLOWLY dilating” to a whole new level.
March 20, Maundy Thursday – 38 weeks, prenatal checkup
My prenatal checkup revealed nothing new, except I’m a little over 1cm dilated. My contractions were apparently not strong enough to dilate the cervix. It was so frustrating – I’ve been in early labor for almost two weeks! It seemed dilation and effacement measurements weren’t indicative of anything, even with constant contractions.
I started to prepare myself for this to continue up to my due date (2 more weeks). The eviction notice I sent my baby won’t really work - he has the final say, and there was nothing we could do about it.
That night, however, I felt extra pain during my contractions. I told Nino it felt different, that maybe that was IT. But I decided to try and sleep through it.
March 21, Good Friday
7:30 AM: I woke up realizing I successfully slept through my contractions and that they were now 5 minutes apart. Time to go to the hospital? Maybe not, because I was told that active labor contractions are too painful to sleep through, so I ignored it. Nino decided to go to work.
9:30 AM: LOTS of blood in the bathroom. It could well have been my mucus plug, but even losing that may not mean I’m delivering soon. Anyhow, I thought it better to be seen at the hospital. Nino immediately drove back from work to bring me to the hospital while I calmly completed some last-minute packing, just in case we weren’t going back home that day.
10:30 AM: I was admitted! I was 3cm dilated already. It seems the pelvic exam from the day before induced labor. My nurse told me that I can ask for an epidural anytime I wish. At that point, the pain was still bearable, so I decided to wait.
12:30 PM: 4 cm. Not much progress in 2 hours, so we agreed to artificially break the bag of waters and have Pitocin (contraction-inducing drug) administered a couple hours after.
4:30 PM: 9 cm. I dilated 5 cms in 2 hours. No wonder the pain was already that intense – I was in transition labor and I didn’t even know it, so I asked for an epidural. Surprisingly, I remained very calm even before I was given drugs -- no screaming at Nino or spraining of his hands. Thanks to our Lamaze class and my high threshold for labor pain.
5:00-ish: My nurse, Nino and I started “practice” pushing – I pushed constantly while my nurse counted to 10. It was meant to bring the baby low enough to crown before they called the doctor (who, unfortunately, was not the OB-GYN I was seeing my entire pregnancy). After a couple practice pushes, I started to bleed more. Each push made blood squirt out, making my nurse a bit worried.
The doctor and another nurse came to check if the placenta was intact. It turned out to be ok, saying the bleeding could’ve been coming from a tear INSIDE. It got me a little worried, but I was determined to get this over with.
After a few more pushes, a lot of blood and a whole lot of hard work, the baby was crowning. This was it! I was going to see my baby!
.JPG)
5:38 PM: One last humongous push and Milo was finally out. I was surprised when they said he was out, because I only did one push, when I was expecting to push for the head first, then push for the shoulder next. I guess I pushed hard enough to let him slip right through!They wiped my blood of my baby and handed him to me for our initial meet-and-greet. The baby nurse took him to the warmer to do his first vital checks with Nino watching while the doctor stitched me up (I apparently needed an episiotomy). As soon as he was semi-clean, they bundled him up and Nino got to hold him and show him to me.
We tried nursing during that first hour, and he latched right away. Thank God! After a few minutes of nursing, they took him to the nursery for his first bath.
At that point, I was seeing double, literally. My nurse told me to rest and eat a little of my dinner, so I did. I managed to take a few naps and eat most of my dinner, but I was still woozy. I apparently lost a lot of blood – I was on “borderline,” said my nurse. My full bladder wasn’t helping the bleeding, so I was asked to pee – no such luck. They had to place a catheter in me to get my pee out, a full bag of 1200cc.
.JPG)
10:00 PM: I was still in the LDR/Recovery room, under observation. I was jealous of my husband who got to see the baby longer and be with him in the nursery. I only saw a couple of videos Nino took, but I guess that was better than nothing.
11:30 PM: I was finally sent to my room to meet my Milo, 6 hours after delivery. The wait was worth it. I finally have my baby!
6.03.2008
Classes for the Clueless
I tried to plan everything before our baby was born, including not to be a clueless new mom. So Nino and I decided to take classes from the hospital where I planned to give birth – Prepared Childbirth Class and Newborn Baby Care class.
Prepared Childbirth Class
When I learned this was a Lamaze class, I got a little scared. I had absolutely no intentions of going through labor without an epidural – I wanted drugs!!!
We gave it a chance anyway – and I should say it was well worth the effort of dragging our butts to all 6 hour-and-a-half Sunday night sessions. Not only did we learn exactly what happens to a woman’s body during labor and delivery (making me understand why Braxton Hicks contractions happen), but also how I can cope with true labor pains, if, for any reason, I can’t have an epidural. Lamaze became Plan B.
This class taught me a few other things in addition to what I read in books and the Internet:
Newborn Baby Care Class
This was a lot of fun -- we got to practice carrying, burping, diapering and bathing with a newborn doll. It also showed us different pictures of newborns, preparing me for what my baby might look like – from bluish, to cone-headed, to covered in white goo (vernix), to other unimaginable possibilities. That squashed most new parents’ expectations of a new baby: a clean, perfect-looking bundle we see in TV commercials and movies.
After taking both of these classes, I learned one final thing: I’m still clueless. Not as much as I was a few months ago, especially because I went through my own labor and delivery already. But because I’ve never done “baby care” before, I sometimes still wonder if I’m doing things right. I still have so many questions about caring for my baby that I know only hands-on parenting can answer. Besides, just like every pregnancy, every baby is different, too.
So, I’m trying to be patient. I am already on the best class I can possibly attend – my life. I’m looking forward to what it can teach me about raising my little boy. Good luck to me!
Prepared Childbirth Class
When I learned this was a Lamaze class, I got a little scared. I had absolutely no intentions of going through labor without an epidural – I wanted drugs!!!We gave it a chance anyway – and I should say it was well worth the effort of dragging our butts to all 6 hour-and-a-half Sunday night sessions. Not only did we learn exactly what happens to a woman’s body during labor and delivery (making me understand why Braxton Hicks contractions happen), but also how I can cope with true labor pains, if, for any reason, I can’t have an epidural. Lamaze became Plan B.
This class taught me a few other things in addition to what I read in books and the Internet:
- A contraction isn’t such a bad thing. Every painful contraction during labor is one contraction closer to delivery. And when the contraction becomes unbearable, it only means it’s all about to be over within 24 hours. Don’t tense up trying to fight it. Instead, try to RELAX your whole entire body -- that’s where a nice, steady, deep breathing comes into play. Try this: very slowly inhale, very slowly exhale.
- Go to the hospital when you feel the 5-1-1: contractions 5 minutes apart, for 1 minute that go for 1 hour. This didn’t apply to me though, but that’s a whole other story.
- A childbirth class doesn’t automatically make a new-mom support group. Not when your classmates aren’t very generous with their smiles or words in class. But I don’t blame them – our class was at 7PM on Sunday nights - not exactly a time for high energy levels.
- Every pregnancy, even with the same woman, is different. We saw many birthing videos and learned that each pregnancy experience, not to mention labor and delivery, is unique. Everything I learned in class and read in books or articles online are just meant to guide me in what COULD happen.
Newborn Baby Care Class
This was a lot of fun -- we got to practice carrying, burping, diapering and bathing with a newborn doll. It also showed us different pictures of newborns, preparing me for what my baby might look like – from bluish, to cone-headed, to covered in white goo (vernix), to other unimaginable possibilities. That squashed most new parents’ expectations of a new baby: a clean, perfect-looking bundle we see in TV commercials and movies.
After taking both of these classes, I learned one final thing: I’m still clueless. Not as much as I was a few months ago, especially because I went through my own labor and delivery already. But because I’ve never done “baby care” before, I sometimes still wonder if I’m doing things right. I still have so many questions about caring for my baby that I know only hands-on parenting can answer. Besides, just like every pregnancy, every baby is different, too.
So, I’m trying to be patient. I am already on the best class I can possibly attend – my life. I’m looking forward to what it can teach me about raising my little boy. Good luck to me!
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