Taking Care of Me - Epilogue

I have a #10! Get a nice haircut.

A simple trim can do wonders to give you a new look, and you don't need to go rushing to get the usual new-mom haircut (that short cut that I can't describe, but I'm sure you're familiar with).

Being a busy mom myself, I now do understand why most moms wear that hairstyle: because we hardly have any time to style our hair everyday, and not fixing it is the easiest way to wear it.

However, there are now so many new cuts that are just as stylish as high-maintenance do's. Ask your hair dresser for a low-maintenance, wash-and-wear look and you'll be surprised at how many options you have to make you look like one hot momma.

As for me, I'm never getting the new-mom haircut. Not that I have anything against it - I just know it scores 0 points in flattering my look. I still need to find that perfect low-maintenance style for me, though. Hopefully I find it pretty soon.

Taking Care of Me

When I was still pregnant, I talked with one of my co-workers who just had a baby about “Me Time.” I do remember telling her that the best way you can take care of a baby is by taking care of yourself first. After all, a happy woman does make a happy baby (and marriage, and family).

I should be taking my own advice now, but I should have known it is so much easier said than done.

I guess as moms and wives, we instinctively attend to everything else and put ourselves last on the list. That’s why it takes more effort to take time and make it a point to take care of ourselves FIRST. But there are simple everyday things we can do to make ourselves feel like we’re attending to our own needs, too.

1. Shower everyday. Making sure you keep your good hygiene habits is a good start. Feeling clean, with nice shampooed hair and fresh underwear does help you to feel good.


2. Brush your teeth (this goes with #1). Don’t laugh – some new moms are too tired to brush and floss, which I think is a big mistake. Don’t neglect your dental health. Besides, would you want your baby to associate you with bad breath and decayed teeth?


3. Clip your nails. You don’t have to be all perfectly manicured, but at least take 5 minutes during the day every week to have nice, trimmed, baby-friendly nails.


4. Pluck your eyebrows. Groomed eyebrows open up your eyes and make you look fresh and wide awake, even if you hardly had any sleep.


5. Wear makeup. Who has time to put on makeup, you ask. You barely have time to comb your hair, much less wear makeup, right? Well, I’m not talking about adding full-on makeup to your daily routine, but feeling pretty with makeup once in a while can boost your energy and self esteem. The next time you go on your errands, like simply grocery shopping, wear the quick no-make-up make-up look which takes only 5 minutes: curled lashes, mascara, some blush and a nice shade of lipstick.


6. Wear clothes that fit. Don’t force yourself to fit into your pre-pregnancy clothes that most probably fit weirdly on you. With your new body, it’s easy to feel un-pretty and un-sexy because none of your old clothes fit anymore. But that is PERFECTLY normal (this I tell myself everyday). Our bodies did take almost a year to stretch, why are we trying to shrink it back in a few months (unless you’re Heidi Klum or Christina Aguilera who need to look good for a living)? Buy nice outfits that fit while you’re in transition to shrinking back to your old size.


7. Get yourself a new pair of jeans. See #6. New shoes and earrings are nice, too. I had to give up wearing my necklaces because my baby rubs his face on my chest a lot, so wearing a necklace is not a good idea. Neither is wearing dangling earrings – he grabs it sometimes. So go get some lovely stud earrings or rings if you’re into accessories.


8. Do ONE thing you like doing at least ONCE a week (if once a day is too much to ask), even if it takes a couple hours. In other words, take a break. Whether it’s by reading a magazine, baking, watching TV, or even sleeping, finding time for something you LIKE to do because you like doing it, not because you have to do it. For me, it’s writing – since I don’t work anymore, and because I was used to doing this 8 hours a day for the last 8 years of my working life. Hence, this blog.


9. Give in to one guilty pleasure. Do you love cookies? Chips? Ice cream? Chocolate? Junk food is fine every once in a while and in moderation. If you like chocolate, try to go dark instead – it’s better for you with all its monounsaturated fatty acids and antioxidants. Then you won’t have to feel guilty!


10. YOUR IDEA HERE. Sorry, I ran out already. But I thought this list needed a #10. So whatever your idea of “me time” is, let’s include it here.

I have to admit, I don’t follow all of these faithfully, but I do try. As I said, it does take effort to not feel guilty about loving myself first. But see, this blog is proof – I’m loving me!

My Happy Baby

Thanks to Zoe, one of my mommy co-workers, for giving me this book by Dr. Karp, “Happiest Baby on the Block.”

Its premise is quite simple – your baby isn’t ready for the world when he is born, so he should be transitioned very gently by recreating the environment he was used to now that he is outside the womb.

Therefore, the 5S’s: swaddling, side-position, swinging, shushing, sucking – in that order. It explains the reasons why these seemingly random things work to turn on baby’s “calming reflex.”

I was excited to read it from cover to cover, especially when I saw the DVD in both newborn baby care and prepared childbirth classes. It’s amazing how my baby reacted to the loud shushing direct to his ear, knowing how incredibly annoying we as adults find it to be – but it does work. I swear by it.

I highly recommend this to all new parents to help you keep yourselves from pulling your hair out when baby just won’t quiet down. Learning these techniques didn’t just calm our baby – it calmed us, too.

Baby Hygiene List

In our newborn baby care class, we learned about changing baby’s diapers and giving baby a sponge bath, as far as cleaning up baby was concerned. Unfortunately, they never mentioned the other tasks involving baby’s hygiene that really took up my entire morning on a daily basis.

Cleaning the cord
It wasn’t complicated, just scary. We had to clean the surrounding area of the cord with cotton and alcohol or the alcohol wipes they gave us at the hospital three times a day until it fell off.

Bathing baby
I was told that daily bathing might dry up his skin faster, so we bathed him every other day instead. However, bathing baby took more effort and time than my own 10-minute shower, counting in how long it took to set up baby’s bathing area (part of our poor dining table) and prepare everything we will need before the actual sponge bathing.

Clipping and filing baby nails
It’s unbelievable how long they already were the day he was born! Unfortunately, they didn’t clip his nails at the hospital because it was considered “surgery” – which I thought was absurd, until I tried to clip his nails myself. It can actually be considered “surgery” with what it took to finish the procedure – a good pair of eyes, very steady hands and lots of neck endurance!

This little task seemed daunting to a new mom like me, because he had the tiniest little nails I’ve ever seen and I was so afraid I’d hurt his little fingers. But it had to be done, because tiny as they were, his nails were so sharp and he scratched himself to no end (he still does up to now). So I worked up the courage to clip his nails with those rounded scissors one day (with my mom’s support and supervision) and finally got comfortable enough to do it daily.

Digging in between fingers and toes
Who would’ve thought a baby can collect all that dirt in between his clenched fist and toes?! I certainly didn’t, but I guess because he wears mittens and socks, the fibers get stuck in between his fingers and toes, along with dead skin and sweat. No wonder his hands just started smelling like feet – eek! This called for a daily sweeping of the crevices of his hands and feet with a wet cotton swab.

Nose clean up
It never occurred to me that I’d have to decongest my baby every waking morning until the day I heard him snort - a few days after he was born. Apparently, his tiny nasal passages can collect a lot of mucous that are hard for him to sneeze out himself. So I found myself mastering what hubby and I called OBE: Operation Boogie Extraction. Armed with a trusty bulb syringe from the hospital, saline drops and some good daylight (and tissue), I suctioned my baby’s snotty little nose every single morning before I went downstairs for breakfast. How appetizing, huh?

These all eventually changed just as fast as my baby grew. But as I take a few things off my daily baby to-do list, I add a couple more.

Life with a baby is exciting indeed – nothing is ever the same, and you’ll never know what this little individual will bring to your life every single day. Except for one thing – lots of joy, especially when he is all clean and happy, because I am all happy.

As for me being all clean, umm… that’s a whole other story.

First Week Baby Battles

We were pretty calm new parents, according to my baby’s pediatrician on our baby’s first checkup. I’d say we were ducks – composed on the surface, paddling like crazy underneath.

After attending a newborn baby care class and reading a bunch of books and online references, I was pretty confident we’d take baby care in stride. Boy, was I wrong.

Battle with Time
Because baby had to be fed every 2 hours, I was literally tied to my corner of the sofa all day, because my baby would nurse for 45 minutes to an hour. I would hand him to my mom after a feeding for a diaper change (she volunteered) – another every-two-hour task.

And then there was the cleaning of his umbilical cord which had to be done 3x a day. Add this to the million other baby hygiene tasks. Hollywood celebs were no match to my baby’s high-maintenance!

Wet and poopy diapers also had to be counted for the first week to see if baby was getting enough pre-milk. This was to be reported to the doctor on his first checkup.

Battle with Fussiness
Honestly, we were blessed not to have a colicky baby. My baby didn’t fuss a lot, night or day. He was relatively easy to comfort, using Dr. Karp’s 5S’s from “Happiest Baby on the Block” -- it worked like magic. Milo didn’t like being swaddled though, and no matter how tight our swaddle was, our escape artist always managed to wiggle out of it.

A lot of holding with a little rocking, swaying and singing worked for our baby most of the time – so in this area, I had no complaints. I’m glad this was an easy one for us.

Battle with Priorities
I had to add the “taking care of me” part to baby care – something I didn’t take into consideration beforehand. How could I forget that we (especially me, because I was producing my baby’s sole nourishment) needed to eat a hearty breakfast, lunch, dinner and everything in between?

We were really lucky my mom was with us -- we took turns watching the baby, so we got to eat enough. I particularly had to remember to keep myself hydrated – to drink at least a glass of water each feeding session.

The hardest part to squeeze into the daily routine – a shower. It was hard, but not impossible, that’s why I made it a point to shower everyday, even for a few minutes. I didn’t want my baby to associate body odor with his mother (eew).

Battle with Housework
And then there were chores – cooking meals, dishes, laundry, cleaning. I’m glad my husband is a neat freak, because he would take care of whatever was left to fix up or clean while me or my mom were busy with the baby. I seriously wished we could do all the housework Harry Potter-style: everything would take care of itself with a flick of a wand (I still wish for that now).

Battle with Hormones
Oh by the way, I was supposedly “recovering” from childbirth, so I had to deal with both physical and emotional strains WHILE doing all of the above. Thank God my mom was there to take care of me while my husband was at work or doing the rest of the chores, because I know I wouldn’t have otherwise taken care of myself that well.

I knew caring for a baby was going to be a lot of work, but I completely underestimated the number of battles we had to face on a daily basis. Even my mom didn’t realize how much harder it was to do it all by ourselves, without a maid or a nanny (two things that were staples in most households back where we came from) to take care of a number of items on my list.

Luckily, we learned to roll with each punch – surviving the first week, then the first month, then the first week without my mom, and then for me, the first weeks with my husband at work. I’ve managed to get the hang of juggling things after a couple of months. I could say I already have it all under control – for now. Seeing how fast my baby is growing, I should really be ready for the next unforeseen baby battle everyday.

Mom and Baby Bond

Even while I was pregnant, I always knew that babies feel everything their mothers feel. What I didn’t know was how much they did, especially during breastfeeding.

My baby had mild jaundice during his first days of life, and it worried me sick. I stressed out over what I mistakenly thought was a wrong latch, which caused him to not get enough food from me, which caused him to not poop and make his jaundice worsen.

I spent unnecessary sleepless nights trying to “teach” my baby to latch on correctly and became stressed and frustrated almost to tears. Apparently, he felt my stress and frustration, and decided not to eat.

Milo went on a hunger strike – and that’s why he didn’t get enough from me to gain weight. He was just as stressed as I was and decided not to eat, which of course stressed me out more. That was our vicious cycle.

The lactation consultant at my pedia’s office then advised me to relax before and during feeding. She told me to sit in a quiet place, put my feet up, and not to think about anything else while nursing. This worked instantly, and my baby fed and gained back his birth weight even before his 2nd week.

Another thing I observed was that my body produced the exact kind of milk my baby needed at that time of feeding. When it was scorching hot, I pumped milk and what came out almost looked like water. It’s as if my baby told my body that he was thirsty because he was hot, so my milk – which was all he drank and ate – came out as thin as possible to quench his thirst.

Isn’t it amazing how this kind of bond exists between mother and child? Mom’s body communicates to a baby’s supposedly immature brain and vice versa without them even knowing it.

Now if only my brain can tell right away exactly what his cries mean without me having to run through the crying checklist…

First Time Breastfeeder

Being a new mom, I had no idea what breastfeeding was going to be like, so I read everything I can about it. But like some things, no amount of reading prepared me for everything I was about to experience.

Latching On
Before we came home from the hospital, I thought my baby had a good latch going so he can drink his milk efficiently. But after watching videos and seeing pictures of American babies with “the right latch,” I became paranoid that my baby wasn’t doing it right. My fears were confirmed by the fact that he wasn’t pooping and his jaundice was getting worse.

I later learned that his latch wasn’t the problem. He was latching on fine, but because I was comparing his little tiny mouth to bigger babies with bigger mouths and bigger-looking latches, I thought there was something wrong. Totally my bad. Because of this, I became stressed and frustrated enough to make him go on a hunger strike.

Sore Nipples
Pain was another reason why I thought my baby’s latch was wrong. I was told that if feeding hurts, then the latch must not be right. But I realized, wrong latch or right latch, my nipples were bound to be sore after being exposed to moisture every two hours for several entire days!

You know how those wounds from scratching hurt when touched? That’s the kind of pain I felt for a while – that’s what sore nipples felt like for me.

The Letdown
When my milk came, my baby would cough and gag during feeding. I apparently had an overactive letdown, meaning my milk comes on too fast and baby can’t keep up. It’s like drinking from a huge pail poured over your mouth.

My research said to pull baby away from the breast at the beginning of the letdown and wait till it slowed before putting baby back on. The thing is, I didn’t even know how letdown felt like, so I was always too late pulling baby away – he would’ve already gagged or coughed.

Some people describe it as a tingling feeling, so that’s what I was waiting to feel. But after close observation, I realized that it wasn’t exactly “tingling” for me. I can’t actually describe it, but I knew I felt something going on in my breasts before I saw the milk come out. By around the 2nd week, I finally figured out how to tell that my milk was coming.

Empty vs. Full

The first time I tried to pump out milk, I got a whopping ONE ounce TOTAL from an hour of pumping with a manual pump (which hurt like crazy!). It confused me because I thought I could get milk enough to feed all the babies born that day from the way I was so engorged. So my mom told me to keep pumping to “empty” the breast. But how was I to know how empty felt?

I knew what “full” meant – it was like the fullness during PMS, multiplied by 3. And engorgement? So much worse than that. Empty, on the other hand, was a big question mark for me, until I felt a load of relief from engorgement after pumping with an electric pump (and with the help of warm compress) and constant breastfeeding.

So that’s what empty felt like – when the breast feels like it’s been unloaded 1,000 gallons of milk, and when you can’t manually get anything from it anymore.

Up to this day, almost 3 months since the first time I breastfed my baby, I am still learning new things like better ways to hold him while nursing (so he doesn’t choke) and nursing on one breast per feeding. Everyday is a challenge indeed, as I try to figure out everything myself. But I am a fast learner, and I did learn that figuring them out and overcoming challenges can be truly rewarding experiences.

More Yellow Than Me

My hubby and I are both relatively fair-skinned Filipinos and we have the typical yellow skin tone most fair-skinned Asians have. My baby, however, had a little more yellow hue than I expected.

Milo had very mild jaundice when we brought him home from the hospital. One of the baby nurses suggested that we supplement with formula so that he can poop more and excrete the bilirubin (that chemical that causes jaundice) more often. We decided against it – we wanted to breastfeed exclusively. Besides, the doctor didn’t advise me to do so, so we stayed with breast milk, even if my mature milk didn’t come until day 4.

Day 4 was his first checkup after coming home from the hospital, and I was worried like crazy. He hasn’t pooped much the day before, and I was afraid his jaundice was getting worse. I was sure he looked more yellow, even if hubby and my mom assured me it was just my imagination.

But I was right. At the doctor’s office, we confirmed that he did still have jaundice, and worse, he lost more than 10% of his birth weight, from almost 6 lbs 13 oz (almost 7 lbs.) to 6 lbs. flat. Babies typically lose weight after birth, but they gain their birth weight back by their second week. My baby, however, lost more weight than normal.

I blamed myself for it. I didn’t supplement with formula, because at our childbirth class, we were told that babies’ tummies are just the size of a marble at birth. Colostrum from mommy is all they need until about day 3 or 4 when their tummies grow to the size of a ping pong ball, and when mom’s mature milk is supposed to start coming in.

The problem is, he wasn’t getting enough from me because I couldn’t get him to breastfeed correctly. Or so I thought. My pedia called in a lactation consultant and she observed how Milo latches on. Apparently, he was latching correctly, but he refused to eat because I was stressed and frustrated from trying to “teach” him, when he was, in fact, doing it correctly all along.

We fed him formula on that day, just one 2-oz. dose for that one feeding, while I dealt with my engorgement. And then he went back to the breast right away. This time, I freed myself from all worries and just allowed him to feed, tummy-to-tummy. When I finally smelled that poopy diaper that night, I was overjoyed. He’s pooping!

Three days later, we came back to the pedia for a follow-up weight check – and he passed with flying colors at 6.4 lbs. Whew. I’m glad we didn’t have to deal with the full-blown jaundice and have him undergo treatment under some kind of light. It turns out that a less paranoid mom was all the treatment he needed.

His jaundice cleared completely by his 2nd-week checkup, but he’s still yellow – my tint of yellow. Just the way I like it.

What I Wish I Knew About After-Pregnancy

Because I was too busy planning for the baby’s arrival and learning about labor and delivery, I failed to prepare myself for what’s to happen to my body after baby was out of my belly. I only started to learn about these things as I was experiencing each and every surprising post-partum fact. Nobody told me…

…that my body was going to be confused after baby is out. My hormones went haywire, especially during the first two hours post-partum -- I had hot flashes and chills back-to-back, I thought I was losing my mind. I guess my body was trying to figure itself out.
…that this state of my body figuring itself out was going to take way longer than two hours.
…that I was going to swell worse than when I was pregnant. I was so shocked to see myself in the mirror for the first time after I gave birth. My face was so puffy, I seriously wondered how people recognized me -- I could hardly recognize myself!
…that my belly was going to look like floppy bread dough. And that I wasn’t going to look anywhere near NOT pregnant after giving birth. Now, almost 3 months later, I still look 3 months pregnant, even after losing 28 of the 35 lbs I gained over the pregnancy.
…that the last 7 lbs will so stubbornly stick to me.
…that I was going to keep wearing my maternity pants for about a month after giving birth.
…that this mommy fluff doesn’t just take two months to lose (darn Heidi Klum). I read it can take up to a year, by which time I plan to be pregnant again. When I will lose this muffin top, I have no idea.
…that my body’s shape is going to drastically change. My pre-pregnancy tops fit differently in a bad way. At least my breast-milk-enlarged boobs can now give the illusion that my tummy looks just a little flatter than it really is (and that I can suck it in – but even that I can only hold for a short while).
…that it may take up to 6 months to a year for the linea negra (the vertical line across the belly that appeared during the last month of my pregnancy) to disappear. There goes any hope for wearing a bikini this summer.
…that like the linea negra, my darkened underarms will plan to stay like that for a while. Did I say goodbye, bikini?
…that my self esteem was going to reach its all-time low. I felt like a mass of blob and just hated looking at the mirror. I had nothing to wear, because nothing looked decent on me. I felt so unattractive, no matter how many compliments I got from my darling hubby and dear friends. Those unpleasant thoughts sure got a good hold of me. It could well have been the baby blues (or the mommy fluff).

I wish I knew about these, so I wasn’t caught off-guard by all those ugly, self-worth-eating monsters in my head. I did get rid of them eventually, even with that lovely mommy fluff still hanging on top of my pre-pregnancy pants I now fit back into. I told myself that nothing is permanent, and that it will all get better, even if it will never be the same.

I tried to focus on the positive: having nice toned arms from carrying baby around and firm legs from going up and down the stairs with baby’s 12 lbs. Or having more reason to buy nice new clothes and a swanky new one-piece swimsuit. Or that I can see my feet, reach my toes and wear my heels!

Plus, I now know how to cheat into fitting into some of my older clothes. But even if that doesn’t work, I have every right to look the way I do, because I JUST had a baby – a beautiful, healthy baby with yummy little toes.

My Labor Story

With a relatively conventional pregnancy (except for an extra rough first trimester), I was hoping to have a textbook labor and delivery experience. What I had, however, was one for the books.

March 10, Monday – 36 weeks and 4 days
I felt contractions that were a little more intense than Braxton Hicks that I’ve been feeling more than 5 times a day. I started recording the times I had contractions. How exciting!

Later that night, I felt hourly contractions that lasted the next day, but remembering the 5-1-1 rule, I waited it out – at work. I felt like waiting at home would be a waste of my leave hours. It’s funny how everyone but me and Nino was freaking out.

My ever-loving co-workers constantly had their eye on me, especially when my contractions grew closer to 10 minutes apart. My in-laws panicked when they learned I was having contractions yet we had no plans of going to the hospital. That’s because we didn’t want to be sent back home. So we waited some more.

March 12, Wednesday – 36 weeks and 6 days
I saw my doctor that morning, because my contractions were still going consistently at 10 minutes apart. I’m in fact in early labor, already 90% effaced (my cervix has thinned out) and barely 1 cm dilated.

She put me on leave already because my contractions have been regular and I have started dilating very slowly, saying we may have the baby within the next 24 to 48 hours. OR NOT. The contractions stayed at 8-10 minutes apart for 10 more days. That took “SLOWLY dilating” to a whole new level.

March 20, Maundy Thursday – 38 weeks, prenatal checkup
My prenatal checkup revealed nothing new, except I’m a little over 1cm dilated. My contractions were apparently not strong enough to dilate the cervix. It was so frustrating – I’ve been in early labor for almost two weeks! It seemed dilation and effacement measurements weren’t indicative of anything, even with constant contractions.

I started to prepare myself for this to continue up to my due date (2 more weeks). The eviction notice I sent my baby won’t really work - he has the final say, and there was nothing we could do about it.

That night, however, I felt extra pain during my contractions. I told Nino it felt different, that maybe that was IT. But I decided to try and sleep through it.

March 21, Good Friday
7:30 AM: I woke up realizing I successfully slept through my contractions and that they were now 5 minutes apart. Time to go to the hospital? Maybe not, because I was told that active labor contractions are too painful to sleep through, so I ignored it. Nino decided to go to work.


9:30 AM: LOTS of blood in the bathroom. It could well have been my mucus plug, but even losing that may not mean I’m delivering soon. Anyhow, I thought it better to be seen at the hospital. Nino immediately drove back from work to bring me to the hospital while I calmly completed some last-minute packing, just in case we weren’t going back home that day.


10:30 AM: I was admitted! I was 3cm dilated already. It seems the pelvic exam from the day before induced labor. My nurse told me that I can ask for an epidural anytime I wish. At that point, the pain was still bearable, so I decided to wait.

12:30 PM: 4 cm. Not much progress in 2 hours, so we agreed to artificially break the bag of waters and have Pitocin (contraction-inducing drug) administered a couple hours after.


4:30 PM: 9 cm. I dilated 5 cms in 2 hours. No wonder the pain was already that intense – I was in transition labor and I didn’t even know it, so I asked for an epidural. Surprisingly, I remained very calm even before I was given drugs -- no screaming at Nino or spraining of his hands. Thanks to our Lamaze class and my high threshold for labor pain.

5:00-ish: My nurse, Nino and I started “practice” pushing – I pushed constantly while my nurse counted to 10. It was meant to bring the baby low enough to crown before they called the doctor (who, unfortunately, was not the OB-GYN I was seeing my entire pregnancy). After a couple practice pushes, I started to bleed more. Each push made blood squirt out, making my nurse a bit worried.

The doctor and another nurse came to check if the placenta was intact. It turned out to be ok, saying the bleeding could’ve been coming from a tear INSIDE. It got me a little worried, but I was determined to get this over with.

After a few more pushes, a lot of blood and a whole lot of hard work, the baby was crowning. This was it! I was going to see my baby!


5:38 PM: One last humongous push and Milo was finally out. I was surprised when they said he was out, because I only did one push, when I was expecting to push for the head first, then push for the shoulder next. I guess I pushed hard enough to let him slip right through!

They wiped my blood of my baby and handed him to me for our initial meet-and-greet. The baby nurse took him to the warmer to do his first vital checks with Nino watching while the doctor stitched me up (I apparently needed an episiotomy). As soon as he was semi-clean, they bundled him up and Nino got to hold him and show him to me.

We tried nursing during that first hour, and he latched right away. Thank God! After a few minutes of nursing, they took him to the nursery for his first bath.

At that point, I was seeing double, literally. My nurse told me to rest and eat a little of my dinner, so I did. I managed to take a few naps and eat most of my dinner, but I was still woozy. I apparently lost a lot of blood – I was on “borderline,” said my nurse. My full bladder wasn’t helping the bleeding, so I was asked to pee – no such luck. They had to place a catheter in me to get my pee out, a full bag of 1200cc.

10:00 PM: I was still in the LDR/Recovery room, under observation. I was jealous of my husband who got to see the baby longer and be with him in the nursery. I only saw a couple of videos Nino took, but I guess that was better than nothing.

11:30 PM: I was finally sent to my room to meet my Milo, 6 hours after delivery. The wait was worth it. I finally have my baby!

Classes for the Clueless

I tried to plan everything before our baby was born, including not to be a clueless new mom. So Nino and I decided to take classes from the hospital where I planned to give birth – Prepared Childbirth Class and Newborn Baby Care class.

Prepared Childbirth Class
When I learned this was a Lamaze class, I got a little scared. I had absolutely no intentions of going through labor without an epidural – I wanted drugs!!!

We gave it a chance anyway – and I should say it was well worth the effort of dragging our butts to all 6 hour-and-a-half Sunday night sessions. Not only did we learn exactly what happens to a woman’s body during labor and delivery (making me understand why Braxton Hicks contractions happen), but also how I can cope with true labor pains, if, for any reason, I can’t have an epidural. Lamaze became Plan B.

This class taught me a few other things in addition to what I read in books and the Internet:

• A contraction isn’t such a bad thing. Every painful contraction during labor is one contraction closer to delivery. And when the contraction becomes unbearable, it only means it’s all about to be over within 24 hours. Don’t tense up trying to fight it. Instead, try to RELAX your whole entire body -- that’s where a nice, steady, deep breathing comes into play. Try this: very slowly inhale, very slowly exhale.



• Go to the hospital when you feel the 5-1-1: contractions 5 minutes apart, for 1 minute that go for 1 hour. This didn’t apply to me though, but that’s a whole other story.



• A childbirth class doesn’t automatically make a new-mom support group. Not when your classmates aren’t very generous with their smiles or words in class. But I don’t blame them – our class was at 7PM on Sunday nights - not exactly a time for high energy levels.



• Every pregnancy, even with the same woman, is different. We saw many birthing videos and learned that each pregnancy experience, not to mention labor and delivery, is unique. Everything I learned in class and read in books or articles online are just meant to guide me in what COULD happen.

Newborn Baby Care Class
This was a lot of fun -- we got to practice carrying, burping, diapering and bathing with a newborn doll. It also showed us different pictures of newborns, preparing me for what my baby might look like – from bluish, to cone-headed, to covered in white goo (vernix), to other unimaginable possibilities. That squashed most new parents’ expectations of a new baby: a clean, perfect-looking bundle we see in TV commercials and movies.

After taking both of these classes, I learned one final thing: I’m still clueless. Not as much as I was a few months ago, especially because I went through my own labor and delivery already. But because I’ve never done “baby care” before, I sometimes still wonder if I’m doing things right. I still have so many questions about caring for my baby that I know only hands-on parenting can answer. Besides, just like every pregnancy, every baby is different, too.

So, I’m trying to be patient. I am already on the best class I can possibly attend – my life. I’m looking forward to what it can teach me about raising my little boy. Good luck to me!

First 2 Weeks: What You Really Need

Two months before my due date, I decided to start building our baby registry. I was already in panic mode by then, because in the event we had the baby earlier than planned, we had nothing but a crib with a mattress and a changing table.

Adding stuff to the registry was overwhelming, even if I had a couple checklists pulled from the Internet to guide me. It’s crazy how a little tiny person can need so many things! After about a week of headaches trying to figure out what I thought we needed, I finally completed the registry and after a couple baby showers, we were all set. Or so I thought.

Now, two months after having our baby, I realize that most of what we had were good to have after baby is a few months old, and had it not been for my dear co-worker’s “Basket of Love,” we wouldn’t have had what we needed for baby’s first two weeks.

So I made a checklist of what I consider the absolute necessities:

Baby’s Clothes and Nursery:

• Side-snap shirts. The long-sleeved ones are particularly helpful because the cuffs fold out to serve as baby’s mittens, so it buys you a little more time before cutting those teeny-weeny nails. They’re sold by Gerber as preemie wear, although it can probably fit a 7-lb baby.
• Clothes in NEWBORN size. I’m putting this here, too, in case I’m not the only stupid new mom who didn’t know that size 0-3 months wasn’t the smallest size in baby clothes.
• A dozen burp cloths or cloth diapers (to serve as burp cloths) MINIMUM, unless you want to do laundry everyday.
• About 4-5 receiving blankets. I like the stretchy ones (Gerber thermal) and the big ones for swaddling baby. The regular blankets couldn’t hold up to our swaddling escape artist.
• About 6 pairs of socks to keep baby’s feet warm.
• A hat for baby’s trip to his 4-day checkup, especially if it’s chilly in your area.
• About 6 pairs of mittens. Babies’ little nails are surprisingly very sharp. Mittens do a good job of protecting them from scratching their delicate faces.

Toiletries:

• A couple packs of size 0 or N diapers. We’re lucky, the hospital gave us a few packs. Otherwise, we would’ve had to run to the store before going home from the hospital.
• Soft paper towels cut up into baby-wipes size, or sensitive baby wipes
• Cotton balls for baby’s face and diaper area if you don’t want to use paper towels or baby wipes
• Diaper cream to prevent diaper rash
• Petroleum jelly for baby boys, if baby has been circumcised. This prevents the diaper from sticking to him.
• Cotton swabs to clean between baby’s fingers and toes
• Alcohol for baby’s stump
• Baby wash. However, I switched to Dove Sensitive because my baby developed eczema when he was about 2 weeks old. Apparently, my baby needed more moisturizing.
• A dozen wash cloths. This can also serve as a little towel to wipe baby’s butt dry after a nice wash in running warm water.
• A few hooded towels
• Some small bowls/containers to hold his warm water for sponge baths
• Speaking of baths, until baby’s stump has fallen off (when he is 1-2 weeks old), a sponge bath is all he will really need. So that infant tub you now have? Find a place to keep it until baby is stump-free.

• Baby nail clippers/rounded scissors. I got mine from a set of Safety 1st grooming items. You’re gonna have to attempt to clip his nails sooner than later. Mittens can only do so much.
• Bulb syringe. You’d be surprised how much gunk baby can produce in that tiny nose. Speaking of gunk…
• Baby saline nasal spray to help moisturize nasal passages and clear congestion. This is very helpful when you start hearing baby snorting.

For Mommy:

• A post-partum band or underwear. It helps tuck in the “mommy fluff.” I have yet to get the tummy-control underwear, but the post-partum band is available in most baby stores.

And if you plan to breastfeed:

• An electric pump. I had no idea I would need to use it on day 4 and my husband had to run to the store to get me the Medela Swing before I died of engorgement.
• Breast milk containers
• Nursing bras and breast pads. This comforts and helps protect sore nipples, aside from absorbing leaks.
• A digital clock to time baby’s feedings per breast during the first 2 weeks.

Last but not the least: a little planning and organization, to help you remember where you put all of these. With the mom-nesia you might have after birth, believe me, you'll be needing this.

Coping with 9th Month Pregnancy Woes

Even before my last month of pregnancy, I was tired of being pregnant. I wondered why people calculated pregnancy as 9 months, when I had to be pregnant for 40 weeks. Each time I had to run to the bathroom for the 709th time, or I had to assist my belly to change positions in bed, or I had to ask Nino put on my socks in the morning, I told myself that there’s a light at the end of this long-a*s tunnel. Baby was bound to leave my belly SOMETIME. This too shall pass, and our darling boy will soon be in my arms.

But while I was in that tunnel, I had to learn to cope with the pains and discomforts of the last month of pregnancy. These below, together with a very supportive husband, co-workers and friends, helped make the longest month of pregnancy a little more bearable.

Sleeping
Being limited to sleeping on my left side for most of the night, there was little I can do to help me sleep soundly, if at all. I tried sleeping on the couch one night, because I always ended up crashing there when we watched TV. It didn’t work – my back felt worse and hubby Nino and I (yes, Nino stayed with me in the living room) had to go back up to bed in the middle of the night. However, I did discover one way that finally let me sleep: one pillow for my head, one pillow between my knees, a tiny pillow below my belly and Nino behind me to support my weight. It worked perfectly. Oh dreamland, we meet again.

Swelling
Even with avoiding lots of sodium (that meant no instant noodles or frozen dinners that contain LOADS of sodium and don’t help with the swelling at all) and drinking over a liter of water a day, I couldn’t escape edema. My feet were so swollen, they fit only into 3 pairs of shoes – all FLATS and not very stylish, which, along with my huge belly, put a limit on my wardrobe choices. My rings didn’t fit my stubby fingers anymore, so I wore them in a chain on my neck instead - at least it made them closer to my heart. Just think of swelling as a good excuse to buy new shoes (and to ask your partner for a foot rub at night).

Stretch marks
I lathered Cocoa Butter from The Body Shop all over my belly, back, butt and thighs because so many people swore by it, just like I did. Until flippin’ stretch marks crept on me in my 36th week. My skin looked great up to that point, so I didn’t consider that stretch marks could appear 2 weeks before I gave birth. At least I lasted 8 and 1/2 months without it.

Other helpful things
The Bella Band. I bought this tube-top-like garment to wear over my pre-pregnancy jeans to hold up my pants because I wore them undone. I stalled for as long as I can until maybe around my 7th month when I finally gave in to wearing maternity pants. But even with those, I wore my trusty band (or bands – I bought 2 in different colors) to support my growing belly and to give a layer-effect under shorter pre-pregnancy clothes to make my outfits work.

What to Expect When You’re Expecting. The 3rd edition isn’t as updated as I hoped it to be, but together with the rest of my resources, it was good enough.

www.babycenter.com – this site sends weekly updates of baby’s development and what you can expect to feel at every stage of the pregnancy, and even goes on even when baby is finally born. It has so much info, I spent days just reading on this website. The forums also made me feel better knowing I wasn’t alone, calming my fears and reminding me that millions of women have gone through this, too, some with even much worse experiences. I knew I’ll be fine.