Challenges of Building New-Mommy Outfits

Being relatively young (closing-in on the big 3-0 in a few weeks), I try my best to avoid going down the road to sloppy dressing, which as a busy stay-at-home mom, I admittedly tend to fall into.

But as I peek into my closet, I realize that a lot of my clothes don’t work anymore with the lifestyle of a stay-at-home mom who has her baby with her all day. I didn’t anticipate how much I had to think about before putting on an outfit.

Let me give you a run down of what I have to consider when dressing up, especially during baby’s first year or so. You might find it helpful.

Tops

• Neckline. You’ll stoop down to pick baby up from the stroller or pick up toys from the floor and you’ll be too busy to watch your neckline. And imagine when baby starts pulling on things including your shirt…
• Material. No more wool, lace or anything itchy -- baby’s face will be resting on it, and you won’t want to irritate that sensitive skin.
• Details. Avoid tops with sequins, beads, small buttons or tiny pieces. If they come off with baby’s rigorous pulling, these could be a choking hazard, not to mention a pain to pick up from the floor. Be careful of zippers, too. They could scratch baby’s delicate face.
• Nursing. You don’t have to be confined to v-necks, button downs, or nursing tanks. Do consider how you want to nurse – from the top or bottom of your clothes. If you choose bottom, then long tunics won’t work.

Bottoms

• Hemline. It can be difficult to watch your hemline too, so mini skirts that flow with the wind pose a flashing danger.
• Restriction. As always, pants do a great job of giving you freedom to bend down and run around. Pencil skirts, not so much.

Shoes

• Height. Good luck holding a wiggly 20-pounder wearing 3-inch heels. I suggest going with nothing more than 2 ½ inches or you’ll risk hurting your ankles, or -- much worse -- your baby, if you do trip. Besides, trendy flats are now a great excuse to not wear heels, even if you’re vertically challenged like me. So find a good place to keep your 4-inch heels for now.
• Stability. Clearly, stilettos need to stay in the closet, too - at least for now. Thank goodness for Cuban heels and wedges to give us more stylish options.

Accessories

• Goodbye necklaces. Before babies are old enough to put them in their mouths or pull the chain off, these may scratch or put a funny mark on their tiny faces when they rest on your neck. Try colorful scarves instead, or go bare-neck and find other accessories.
• Studs. These are safer than danglings, both for baby and for you (no risk of torn earlobes).
• Sharp edges. Watch for them on watches, bracelets and rings. So give that chunky engagement ring you used to wear a rest for now, else you risk scratching baby with it.

Hair and Makeup

• Goodbye lipgloss. Even if you plan not to kiss baby’s face with your sticky gloss on, your little one can rub his or her face on your lips. But don’t give up your lip balm.
• Hair Length. If you’re like me who can’t make the short mommy haircut work, you can try wearing your hair up in a ponytail and covering it up with a few strands, or using fun clips to do a nice up-do. The point is to keep your hair off your shoulders and off your baby’s face.
• Bangs. You don’t want to keep brushing them off your face to see where you’re going, so it’s a good idea to keep them pinned with cute clips and fashionable headbands or securely tucked-behind your ears.

Bags

• Carry alls. If you can cram all of baby’s stuff into a chic carry-all purse with lots of pockets and still have room for your own essentials, good for you (seriously, this is possible). Otherwise, grab one of those stylish diaper bags that serve the same purpose.
• Alternate diaper bag. Have another one that’s neutral enough for either sex for when daddy comes with you. This way, you can alternate holding the bag without emasculating him.
• Quick transfers. It could be a pain to transfer stuff from one bag to the other (trust me, especially when in a rush), so I found that putting all my necessities in a wristlet/pouch is particularly helpful for quick diaper bag changes.
  

I never thought it could be this challenging to dress up now that I'm a mom. But, despite all these limitations, it’s not entirely impossible to feel comfortable yet still put together – even hot! All we really need is a little planning and creativity, and we can keep our sweats in the closet. Go hot mommas!

What I Wish I Knew About Breastfeeding

Looking back at the last 9 ½ months, I realize there are things I wish I knew then about breastfeeding. Not that it would’ve affected my decision to nurse exclusively, but in a sense it would’ve made me more prepared for what I was to experience.

Human experiment
During the first month, while my baby and I were learning to nurse, it felt like my breasts were simply a couple of milk-producing gadgets, thanks to my mom and my husband who would curiously watch milk squirt out of my nipples onto the pump. I was their Discovery Channel Live.

Privacy deprivation
I had no intentions of staying cooped up in our room, also because I really had no reason to. It’s not like I needed to hide nursing from my mom and my husband. BUT I also didn’t plan to expose my boobs all day, yet I felt like I didn’t have much of a choice. I would sit on the sofa airing out my aching, sore nipples after every nursing session. I’m a self-confessed prude, but somehow, modesty fell to the bottom of my priority list. So if you plan to breastfeed, try to find a place to comfortably let your boobs rest and hang out exposed for hours on end.

1 hour breaks
For the first couple months, I nursed every two hours or on-demand, whichever came first. What I didn’t know was that Milo would nurse for 45-60 minutes, giving my breasts only an hour max to rest before he latches on again for the next feeding. Talk about working round-the-clock.

No pain, no gain
Whoever said “it’s not supposed to hurt” must have nipples of steel. While it is true that pain while baby is sucking means an incorrect latch, I believe that even with the right latch, pain is inevitable, because your nipples are exposed to moisture and pressure 24/7 (with 1-hour or so breaks in between). I felt more pain after a nursing session, lasting for about 2 months.

Instinct – NOT
Contrary to popular belief, nursing doesn’t happen as easily as we’d like it to. Infants do suck by instinct, but the way they latch on to efficiently draw milk doesn’t necessarily happen “naturally.” There IS a learning curve to breastfeeding, though some can pick up more quickly than others. I was supposedly one of those lucky ones, but my paranoia made me counterproductive.

Stress-free feeding
I stressed about baby’s jaundice and worried that he wasn’t getting enough milk because of a wrong latch. The truth was, he didn’t nurse efficiently only because I was stressed and frustrated, so he decided to go on a nursing strike (this I found out from my pedia’s lactation consultant). As soon as I started to relax and just let him nurse, he picked up on my no-stress nursing and fed more. Indeed, there is a good reason why we are told to relax while breastfeeding.

Staying committed
Breastfeeding is a decision. Working to build your supply by nursing and pumping frequently (not to mention cleaning your pumping equipment after every use), enduring the pain from engorgement and sore nipples and committing to nurse despite all of that is no joke. There were days when formula feeding just seemed so much easier, especially while we were learning to nurse.

The irony of it is that these first weeks of breastfeeding may be most difficult on both mom and baby, but also have been shown to be most beneficial to both. I can’t even begin to enumerate its benefits to baby, not to mention mommy’s recovery (and even weight loss!), which clearly show why breastfeeding is worth every ounce of our commitment and hard work.

It gets better
Now don’t get discouraged if I painted too clear a picture of the challenges of breastfeeding, because it does get better. After a few weeks, my baby learned to finish up his meal in less than 10 minutes. My nipples stopped hurting. Soon, nursing became almost second nature to both of us. That’s why we’re still going.


There are lots of other things I wish I know now even if they have yet to happen – like how bad (or good – I wish!) my boobs will look after I’m done nursing, how long I will have milk and if it’s going to hurt more now that he has 4 teeth (and counting).

Guess I’ll just have to wait and see.

After Nine Months

As soon as you find out you’re pregnant, you start following your baby’s development in the womb and do this for the following 9 months. You eagerly await that 9th month, excited to have baby in your arms.

That was my experience exactly, along with maybe 99% of the rest of the pregnant world. But I don’t think anybody ever thought of life’s developments every month after baby, so I decided to look at my own life’s turns 9 months after baby was born.

Month 1
I guess this can be summarized as the no-sleep month. I got no sleep from baby nursing all night and day, from being paranoid about every single hiccup and from researching and looking up everything I can to answer my 10,001 questions.

Month 2
Semi-sleep month. At this point he can nurse in bed next to me, allowing me to doze off while nursing. I was slowly recovering from child birth – not much aches and pains anymore, but definitely still looked like I gave birth the day before.

Month 3
I got a 3-hour break from baby care for the first time – I attended a friend’s wedding with another friend while hubby took care of our baby (he called 5 times). I also quit my job and officially became a SAHM (stay-at-home mom).

Month 4
I didn’t think I could shed hair more than a dog or a cat could. The stress of preparing for our baby’s baptism didn’t help either – I thought I’d go bald before my husband did. I also started my home-based business: personalized chocolates and candy bars. Why or how I thought I’d have time to work on it is beyond me.

Month 5
Why was I still depressed? My doctor best friend didn’t think it’s the post-partum blues. It was probably the lack-of-interaction-with-friends-family-and-other-adults-in-general blues. And from my family and friends being so far away. And from the fact that I was unemployed and not earning money to go shopping. And that I can’t go shopping because I’d rather buy something my baby needs. And that I haven’t had a massage.

Month 6
My life revolved around feeding baby solids twice a day, observing every poopy diaper and helping him be mobile. His baby book stayed unmarked, sitting in our closet. And I think my blog started growing cobwebs. Time is just so hard to get a hold of! But there is one milestone for me: I fit in my old, pre-pregnancy jeans!

Month 7
I officially got my period back. It’s still very irregular, though, because I didn’t get my period for 2 months after that, which led me to take a pregnancy test. Thankfully, it was negative -- and I say thankfully because I know I’m not emotionally ready for another baby. My baby is still a baby, and I’d like to cherish our moments with him as the baby before a new one comes to be the baby.

Month 8
In-laws arrived and our house was jam-packed. I was excited for company and stressed because of it at the same time. So was our baby, who experienced Disneyland, a plane ride to San Francisco, biting cold weather, Black Friday shopping (in a factory outlet, no less), colds and a trip to the ER all in over a week.

Month 9
Our first holiday season with our newest family member. It was bittersweet, because we celebrated our Christmas and New Year together, but we missed out on sharing this milestone with our family and friends back home, not to mention missing out on sharing with their own milestones. At least some of our brothers and sisters got to visit with us and our baby met a few of his cousins.

I wonder what the next months will bring. I’m excited and scared at the same time, just like how I was 9 months before our baby was born. But this time, it’s because he’s growing so fast right before our eyes. Pretty soon, I’ll be planning his 1st birthday party.

But also, just like the last 9 months, we’ve learned to savor every moment that Milo is a baby while at the same time taking every challenge one day at a time. I guess there’s really no need to worry.

4 Months Later

It’s been a good 4 months since my last post on the blog that I vowed to update every week – or at least try to update every week. I did try, but I was obviously unsuccessful. There were a couple entries that were on draft for a while, though, but they never made it to this blog – until today. Besides these entries from the past, here are a few updates on my mommy life and to now 9-month-old boy, Milo:

Baby Signing
We started signing with him at 6 months, and have awaited the day he signs back to us. So far, no such luck yet, except for a couple times when we thought he signed milk – which he actually did. Nothing consistent yet, but we’re getting there slowly. And we’re super excited!

Potty Training
As soon as he started to sit up on his own, my mom told me to sit him on a potty first thing in the morning and make the “sssshhh” sound to help him associate peeing on the potty. I had no idea this was called “elimination communication” but we did it anyway, and so far it’s working. He pees – and POOPS – on the potty! So when he learns to sign, he can start communicating to us his need to answer nature’s calls. At this point, we haven’t changed a single poopy diaper in months.

Crawling, cruising
He learned to crawl, pull up to stand and eventually cruise along our bed and his crib at 7 ½ months. He’s now climbing the stairs, too. His mobility has caused me to already run after him esp. when he gets a head-start to our flat-screen TV, the fireplace and my slippers. I can imagine having to really run after him even without a head-start pretty soon.

Teething and Feeding
He now has 2 lower teeth, 1 upper semi-tooth and another upper tooth emerging. And I’m still nursing him – I plan to nurse until I have milk, despite the occasional biting. Hopefully it stays that way, because his teeth are sharp and I don’t know if I can handle any more than biting every now and then. If he decides to keep biting, we’ll have to wean him and start buying the expensive soy-based formula, because we learned the hard way that he’s allergic to milk protein (see next bullet). That means no cheese, yogurt, butter or any other form of dairy, including eggs, until he’s a year old.

Trip to the ER
Yep, he’s been to the emergency room. We had a post-Thanksgiving dinner with some relatives, and one of his well-meaning aunties fed him a sliver of cheesecake. A few minutes later, his eyes and face were red and swollen. We rushed him to a nearby ER for fear of his throat closing up. He’s never had that kind of reaction before, because he’s never been fed anything other than fruits, vegetables and rice cereal, per his pedia’s instructions. And he’s never gonna be fed anything without them running it by me or his dad. And Benadryl is now his best friend.

2 nights out
Since Milo was born, I’ve only been out two nights – for friends’ weddings, while my husband stayed home to watch our baby. Though I loved the chance to take a break and feel like a woman – not just a mom – again, I realized that 90% of the time, I was either talking about or thinking about my baby.

Grandma and Grandpa Babysit
My in-laws have been visiting and staying with us from another country for almost 3 months as of this writing. Though they’re leaving in less than 2 weeks, it’s not like there will be a lot of changes when it comes to babysitting. They’re not exactly hands-on grandparents, esp. with a baby this young. They’re not comfortable playing with the baby on the floor, so Milo gets held and rocked when he’s with them, which means he gets bored from no mobility and no exercise. And they panic when he cries. I do give them A for thought and effort - that's what counts anyway.

Unfortunately, my initial plan to have at least ONE date night or movie in the theater with my husband has never come to fruition. I wonder how much longer we have to wait for that to happen.

Signing Time

*Another old entry that sat in draft mode for over a month.

11.10.2008
Since my baby was 6 months old, we’ve been teaching him baby sign language. It’s not exactly a special set of signs, just some words from the American Sign Language (ASL) that we use in our routine such as milk, eat, food, water, cracker, shoes, and a lot of other words that will be helpful for our baby to communicate with us.

We bought Baby Signing Time volumes 1 and 2 and he watches them after lunch every single day that we’re home. It’s been part of his routine since then. We love how its cute animation and adorable babies signing with Rachel, the teacher, make him really pay attention (and how it allows me to eat my lunch while he’s watching signing time!).

He hasn’t started signing back to us, but a few weeks after we’ve used it as we talk to him, he’s been responding to some of them already. When I sign milk and he DOES want milk, he flaps his arms up and down and gets so excited – so I offer milk and he is content.

We are so excited for the day he makes his first sign – I read that most babies start signing at around 9-12 months. That’s a few weeks away!

If you’re interested in learning more about baby sign language, here’s a couple links I found that has other words not in both volumes of Baby Signing Time DVD.

http://babystrology.com/baby-learning/baby-sign-language/dictionary/cold.html
http://www.signwithme.com/002_browse_signs.asp


Happy Signing!

Sharing My Milky Blessing

*This is one of those entries that have been sitting in draft mode until today.

09.22.08
Even before I became pregnant, I always knew I wanted to nurse. I had a milking mom who was endowed with a lot of milk that she donated some to hospitals for babies whose moms couldn’t produce enough. My sister-in-law nursed my godson exclusively, too. These stories inspired me to do everything I can to produce milk for my baby.

I was glad when my mature milk started to come, right on the 4th day mark, which was what I read on the books. Since then, I’ve been blessed to be able to nourish my baby with my milk exclusively. I tried to build my supply to produce more than enough, pumping once or twice a day for a few months to build my freezer stash.

I didn’t realize that we’ll have no need for this stash until recently, when I saw a lot of milk bags from 4 months ago still there. I never had to leave my baby for long periods, so we didn’t find a need to use frozen milk. Besides, he didn’t take to the bottle very well.

I was afraid all the milk was going to be put to waste. I felt horrible thinking we’ll have to throw them all away, so I decided to wait exactly 6 months from the date on the label before I start to panic. I’m glad I did, because I found a very good use for all of them 20+ bags.

There is this adopted 2-month-old baby girl whose little tummy can’t tolerate formula, and I’m meeting her tomorrow. Her mom and I found each other in one of the mommy networks I belong to. The baby has been living on donated breast milk from other nursing moms, and according to her mom, this timing was perfect -- she was just about to run out of breast milk, and then I came along.

Tomorrow, I’m donating my milk, what they call “liquid gold” that I have been blessed with. Yes, I’m sharing my blessings.