Not Again

I just gave Liam his first dose of Bendaryl while we were having lunch. I didn't give him anything new - he had rice cereal mixed with formula while seated in his high chair. Then all of a sudden, red rashes start showing up around his mouth. It then started to spread around his chin and his cheeks. That warranted a call from the doctor we just saw for his 6-month checkup a few minutes ago.

Doc said to give him 1.5mL of Benadryl, and that did the trick. The rashes disappeared within 15 minutes. Now the problem is, we had no idea what could've caused it. It could've been something on or around his high chair, maybe a dab of sauce from my dinner last night - Kare-kare, a dish loaded with peanut butter. PEANUT BUTTER, which is the worst allergen for his 3-year-old brother.

Soon, we'll need a blood allergy panel done with this baby, too, just like we did with big brother. He'll need to be pricked and prodded again so we can identify his allergies. 

I'm really sorry I didn't clean his high chair thoroughly last night. But I'm more sorry that we're going through this again. We were hoping to have a pass at allergies with this second baby, but looks like we got no such luck. 

I Love You, Nap

This morning has been extra difficult. Baby needed to be held often, and the older one was a tad more clingy, too. Two noses had to be wiped periodically, nails had to be clipped, diapers changed continuously.

Then baby fell asleep, his first nap of the day, and I tried to go upstairs to the room to put him down. But, lo and behold, big brother blocked the stairs and tried to push me down – he didn’t want me to bring baby upstairs. I convinced him to come up with me and the little one, but he decided he didn’t want to be quiet, waking up the baby as soon as I put him down.

That made me snap at him, making him cry, waking baby more. So much for nap time.
Thankfully, baby finally napped longer an hour after that, allowing me to go to the bathroom and prepare our lunch. After a quick meal, baby woke up. Soon after, it was big brother’s time to nap, so we all headed upstairs till he went down.

The little guy kept playing downstairs for a bit, then it was also time for his nap.

And then there was peace.

I decided not to do any chores or clean up – I just wanted some rest. It felt like I’ve spread myself too thinly today, because they both needed me so much at the same time.

In a few minutes, one (or two) of them will be waking up, and chaos will begin again. The kitchen is a mess, there’s laundry that needs to be done, and I haven’t even thought of what we’ll have for dinner.

But that’s ok. I’m still enjoying this quiet time.

I get to recharge a little, watching TV while eating a banana pancake with nutella, and writing on this blog. This should be enough to get me through a few more hours until yoga tonight, when hubby will be watching them both.

Yay for naps!

Switching Gears

When I was pregnant with baby #2, I never considered using cloth diapers. Not until I realized that we have spent over $2,000 for diapers and disposable wipes with my first who was then over 2 years old. I thought that was crazy, but for the convenience disposables gave our family, I didn’t mind.

 
And then baby #2 was born, and instead of changing him every 2 hours or so, we changed him sometimes 10 minutes after the last diaper change. There were days we’d go through 12 diapers at least because he was a serious poop machine. At the rate we were spending for disposables, I was afraid we’d run our out our savings. I then knew I had to go back to the drawing board and started my quest for cloth diapers.

Search and Research

I started with a cloth diaper trial from diaperdaisy.com. They sent me a bunch of different brands and types of diapers to try for 2 weeks (they’re all 2nd hand, gently used, and looks like new). After I returned them, they credited everything except for $20 trial/rental fee. I loved this because it allowed me to try out the different kinds and sizes to see what worked best for Liam without having to BUY one. With the overwhelming number of brands and kinds of diapers, this helped narrow down my choices.

From that, I concluded the following:

1. I didn’t want to use a prefold diaper + cover, coz that just meant I’ll have to put diapers on twice – the cloth and the cover. With a really wiggly baby, it’s a challenge to put him in ONE diaper as it is.

2. I didn’t want to stuff diapers. It’s work for me to wash them, and I didn’t want that extra step of stuffing, so pocket diapers are OUT.

3. I wanted to use one size – the kind that grows with baby because I felt it was counterproductive to buy different sizes. The goal was to save money.
4. I wanted diapers with snap closure, because I didn’t think Velcro could withstand all the washing I will put them through for the next 30 months or so.
5. I was definitely going the cloth diaper route.


All these meant I needed a brand that fit my needs: an all-in-one, one-size diaper. I found two: Grovia and Kissaluvs Marvels, brands which were not included in my diaper trial. I went on to buy a couple pieces of both to check which one would fit baby best.

Grovia didn’t work because it felt like the material didn’t keep wetness away from baby, and it leaked like crazy. So I decided to try the other brand, and it worked perfectly. That’s when I took the plunge and went with this system.

This is How We Do It

I bought 21 diapers from diapers.com, using about 7-12 a day.

I also bought 2 packs of cloth wipes, because it was easier to have the wipes go with the dirty diaper in my dirty diaper bag.

I got the Fuzzi Bunz diaper bag from Amazon.com, because it did help to contain the smell, and the zipper at the bottom made it easy to load the diapers into the washer (and when we’re done diapering, it can be a handy laundry bag).

Now, here’s what we do:


To clean baby’s bum, I spray water in a cleansing bottle given to me at the hospital (who knew I could keep using them!), then wet one to three cloth wipes to wipe him clean. The dirty wipes and dirty diaper go straight into the diaper bag, as I use the “dry pail” system – a dry bag in my case.

When I have about 4 to 5 clean diapers left, usually about 2 or so days, that’s when I wash. The dirty diapers go straight into the washer, with the diaper bag. Since baby is exclusively breastfed, his poop rinses easily in the wash. When he starts eating more solids and his poop changes, I will have to see if I will use a liner. I’ll cross that bridge when I get there.

Wash cycle goes this way: Cold rinse, Hot wash (with ½ detergent required – I use Tide coldwater), then another cold rinse. By that point, most of the inserts of my diapers have been agitated out of the cover, then I completely turn them inside-out before drying in high heat setting. I keep everything in there, including the cloth wipes.

Money, Money, Money
Does it really save you dollars? I guess the answer will depend on a few things:

1. How long will you be using them? If you’re trying to save money, it will only make sense to switch if you’ll be using the diapers in as many times as it takes to make the cloth diapers start paying for itself, compared to using disposables. Does that make sense?

Let me put it this way. Just like shoes, the real cost of each diaper will be: price divided by how many times used. So if you’re potty training in a few more months, it won’t make sense to spend over $500 for a system you’ll use only for a short time. In my case, I will start saving sometime around my baby’s 8th month or so because I started cloth diapering when he was about 2 months old.

2. How often will you wash? Given that you need to consider water, detergent, and power consumption, you’ll have to factor this into your computation.

3. What other cloth diaper accessories do you intend to use? As I said previously, there are wipes, bags or pails, and sometimes liners that you have to include in the math. In my case, I bought wipes, because I didn’t want to have to put the disposable wipes in another container during diaper changes. I also thought it would save me more, because each disposable diaper wipe that I bought from Costco actually cost 3c each.

Not All or Nothing

Using cloth diapers didn’t convert me to a full-time cloth diapering mom. We still use disposables when we’re out. I had no intentions of lugging around dirty diapers with me. We also use them at night, because I noticed that they hold more overnight than the cloth dipes do, since I don’t change baby at night anymore.

Even with cloth and disposables combined, I will still get to save more than $600 for the time that my baby is in diapers, not including the time when baby #3 (if/when we do have another one) will be using them.

Aside from the savings, I also get to help save the environment. The thought that I am keeping landfills free of at least one more disposable diaper makes me feel good about this decision. And though I still have so much to learn about cloth diapering – like if I’m using the right detergent, and if or when I will have to strip diapers – making this switch makes it all worth it.

And then maybe this time I can ease up a bit about potty training my second boy early.

Potty Talk

My son turned 3 in March and since then has learned to pee and poop in the toilet. The problem is, he will still go in ANYTHING he wears – diaper/pull-up/underpants, even just pants or shorts - anything that covers him up. When we let him go commando at home, he will run to the toilet on his own to do his business. Luckily, he won’t go on the floor, but I still don’t know how I can get him to wear something AND use the potty. He absolutely doesn’t mind being wet and is content just playing and sitting in his wet briefs and pants for the rest of the day if I allow him to (ugh).

His pediatrician told me to allow another year for potty training (he just had a baby brother who is now 5 months old) and went as far as telling me that as long as baby #2 is in diapers, he might not be fully potty trained. YIKES. There has to be some other way to potty train him fully before he is 5, right? It’s driving me crazy (not to mention that I get so disgusted when he poops in his pull-ups or diapers). I fear that with the rate we are going (we haven’t even began with night potty training – baby steps), he will be in diapers in college.

We tried putting him straight into underpants from diapers but because we had to throw a few away already (after he pooped and peed in them, making a huge, horrible mess in our living room), he is now in pull-ups (which I think are just expensive diapers). The only thing that worked to get him to sit on the potty to do anything was to bribe him with m&ms. But now he’s not interested in them anymore, and even after I’ve told him 1,000 times that pee and poop go in the toilet, or encouraging him to be a “big boy” and use the potty like mommy and daddy, or after reading potty book after potty book (you get the idea), he’ll still go in his pull-ups/underpants.

I’m running out of ideas. It’s not like he doesn’t have control yet or know how to use the potty. He has long learned control by peeing and pooping on the toilet before he was one, but because of our month-long vacation to another country, that was all erased. That's a whole other story. At least now he enjoys putting down the toilet seat cover and flushing, so I think he’s just being stubborn and “asserting himself” by going in whatever he’s wearing.

What to do, what to do?

After posting this question on one mommy network, the general answer I got was to wait until he's ready. Patience is really not my strong suit, especially when it comes to things I want. Like wanting to NOT change a poopy diaper again.

Guess I'll just have to ease up a bit on this one, because there just might be no winner if I keep persisting.

Bye Tantrums (for now)

Today marks the first day my almost 3-year-old son didn’t throw a single tantrum. What a lovely day!

Together Forever

This is the first time since January, the time he started dreading coming to school again, that Milo didn’t cry at day care drop off. What changed? Lola and baby came with us in the car to take him to school. I guess he wanted all of us together for as much time as he can have.

The Ultimate Optimist

Hubby and I went to a class today for parents of baptism candidates at our church. I enjoyed it because we were able to reflect on what we wish for our kids. But what struck me most was something our facilitator said – that he wished our kids will be positive thinkers.

Optimists are very resilient, always seeing the bright side in any situation. They never give up and always hold out hope that they will get through anything. And they learn to be happy.

I remember being that way. Someone even went as far as saying I was her “ray of sunshine.” I do wonder what happened to that ray sometimes… guess a heavy cloud came over it and just stayed there.

I still think that optimist is still somewhere in me, and I do believe she will come out of her worries stronger than ever. Well, just by saying that makes me an optimist again already, doesn’t it. Then that’s one positive thought I’d like to keep.

Losing It

I spanked my son for the first time today. It was at bath time, as he was wailing, screaming and stomping in the tub. Straight on his wet bum, no diapers. It got red and I felt super guilty and even more upset that I hit myself on the thigh too. I hit myself so hard my hand made a red mark. Guilty.

Where has my sweet baby gone? His tantrums have been unbearable for the past months that I literally am starting to lose my hair – I found a bald spot on my head where my alopecia used to be. My doctor said causes of alopecia are unknown, but one common denominator among those with this condition is STRESS. Hmm, I wonder where my stress is coming from. I hope this phase passes before I lose all my hair.

Cool Timer

I saw this super cool contraption from one of my good friends while we were both pregnant, she with her first baby, me with my second. I think it’s one of the coolest gadgets any mom could have.

The ITZBEEN is a timer that records your baby’s last diaper change, feeding or nap, and reminds you of your next one. It has a 4th button for anything else you may need a reminder or a timer for.

Its name couldn’t have fit it any better, because it will tell you that “it’s been x hours y minutes since your last ___.” It’s a great thing to have, considering how many other things I have to think about and remember. Too bad I didn’t get to think about this first. This I highly recommend.

Toot-Toot!

I am hardly one to toot my own horn. But after being a mother for even just a short while, I could say I should.

I've been a stay-at-home mom since my first was born, 2 years and 9 months ago. Over that period, I've realized I am not SAHM material, and I personally believe that for this particular mom, being a working mom would have been much easier, having a break from childcare while at work, where I could eat my meals while they're hot and go to the bathroom unhurriedly. But that's a whole other story.

Mind

So I've learned to keep my mind sane by getting myself occupied with other non-motherhood related things. I volunteered for Taproot Foundation, an organization that provides teams of professionals to provide their skills to a non-profit organization's project pro-bono. TOOT!

I've also stayed a freelance copywriter while running two small businesses. Neither of them is earning yet, but I should say that wearing those many hats while raising a kid and running a household is something I should be proud of. I've always known I was a multi-tasker, but now I can say I'm a master at it. TOOT!

Body

My body has created two beautiful human beings, carrying them to term and fighting with all my might to push them out into the world. Both labors were quick but painful, and both pushing sessions lasted less than 15 minutes. My stitches, wounds and stretch marks will be a reminder that my body will never be the same after two kids, but these are a tribute to how strong my little body can actually be. TOOT!

My body has also allowed us to save over $1000 a year from formula, because I nursed my first boy till he was 2, and am now nursing my second one exclusively. I have absolutely nothing against formula feeding and will formula-feed my newest baby when I need to, but knowing that my body is able to nourish my kids is something I should also be proud of. TOOT!

Soul

Lastly, after spending our first Christmas with our 3-week-old in the hospital for RSV, I personally am a little amazed at how much I can handle running with only 8 hours of sleep – for the week. Despite the anxiety I had from having our tiny baby in the hospital while keeping up with the needs of the rest of my family, all with no rest, I give myself props for not falling apart.

Of course, this is not possible without the help of my ever-supportive and loving husband, as well as my mom who luckily, was with around for the first few days. They have kept me going, keeping my faith strong and knowing all will be ok.

Still, I've seen how much I can emotionally take. I know this may seem trivial to all the other mothers who are in their own battles much worse than I was in, but having a kid in the hospital will always be an emotionally challenging experience for me. And I've been there twice, with my first born spending his first birthday at the hospital, and our very recent Christmas experience. And I'm still sane and standing. TOOT!

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I wish I could put "being a mother" in my resume. Until I became one, I didn't realize how much work it is to be one.

So to all mothers out there, whatever your situation, let's give ourselves more than a little pat on the back. We know now that being a mom is a thankless job, so let's thank ourselves more often. We deserve more than we give ourselves credit for.

Here's to tooting our own horn. TOOT TOOT!